Best Synastry Aspects Between You + a Lover
Synastry is how your planets interact with another’s. The conversation between those two planets acts as a permanent transit when you’re with that other person. The synastry tells the story of your relationship – its strengths, its downfalls, the tension points, the places where the energy flows easily. Find you & your love’s synastry.
A cheat sheet:
Trines and Sextiles between planets indicate a pleasant conversation between those two planets energies
Conjunctions indicate the signs are in the same sign, or very close in degrees, so there’s a commonality and an understanding. These can be positive or negative, depending on the planet / sign involved.
Squares and Oppositions are separating aspects in synastry. They indicate tension or differences in opinion.
Aspects are more intense when they involve personal planets (Sun, Moon, Ascendant, Mercury, Venus, Mars)
Sun refers to ego/vitality
Moon refers to our private, emotional selves
Ascendant speaks to our physical appearance or how we come off to others
Mercury is our communication
Venus is our love language and what we look for in a feminine partner
Mars is our energy, vitality and sexuality and what we look for in a masculine partner
Personal planets connection to Jupiter will expand and inject with good feelings, optimism, abundance
Personal planets connection to Saturn will bind, make serious. It’s a bit of a fun sucker, but you rarely see long-term couples without it.
Personal planets connection to Uranus will inject with spontaneity, variety. Hard to find consistency.
Personal planets connection to Neptune will cause rose-colored glasses, inject with romance and perhaps a bit of delusion
Personal planets connection to Pluto will be transformative
I’ve assembled my favorite aspects to see in synastry – of course, this varies! Many astrologers shy away from Neptune or Pluto contacts, but I’ve found the intensity can make things interesting, artistic, romantic. Suitable for long-term, stable marriage? Perhaps not. But steamy whirlwind romances? Definitely.
I’ve assembled my favorite contacts for a romantic relationship:
Moon Conjunct • Trine • Venus
“You nurture me”
In this synastry aspect, emotions are playing nice with romanticism and love language. The moon person will feel understood and nurtured, whereas the Venus person will love to give that affection and make the Moon person feel safe. This will also inspire some romanticism, as well as a fluid, intuitive connection.
Mars Conjunct • Trine • Sextile Mars
“This physical chemistry is on fire.”
Mars is your raw animal passion, so when it’s having a good conversation with your partner’s Mars, the sexual compatibility can be off the charts. Words are not necessary – your bodies, your chemistry speaks for itself. Your physical language flows harmoniously and you’ll feel a magnetic, primal draw to them. This aspect on its own, however, isn’t strong enough to build a solid relationship on – but it does make things pretty hot.
Venus Trine • Sextile Mars
“Our energies play so well together”
This works even better if it’s a woman’s Venus trining or sextiling a man’s Mars, as Venus represents the feminine and Mars represents the masculine. Venus represents our feminine energy and when it’s dancing with masculine Mars, it infuses the relationship with a light-hearted, flirty element even years down the road.
Sun Conjunct Moon
“I see how you are – and that’s how I am too!”
Having someone’s Sun on your Moon can be very comforting in a romantic relationship – their outward expression, vitality reflects your inner self and inner moods. In this synastry aspect, you feel like you can be your true self because that energy is constantly being reflected back to you.
Moon Conjunct • Trine • Sextile Neptune
“You sweep me off my feet.”
Oh, boy. If someone’s Neptune is on your moon, let me tell you, you will be writing love letters, daydreaming, writing poetry about them. It is quite unsettling how the surrounding world just drops away whenever you’re with them. It’s romantic, it’s artsy, it’s spiritual – but it can lead to delusion and a lack of reality with all of Neptune’s fog.You are not seeing that person as they are – you are gazing at your beloved with rose-colored glasses, where they appear virtually perfect in your eyes, which can lead to disappointments to follow. But so much beautiful art has been created because of this very aspect – this is the epitome of falling deep, deep in love.
Moon Conjunct South Node
“This feels familiar”
This could be indicative of a karmic relationship or past lives, as South Node represents where we’ve come from. Of course, this is only one of my favorite synastry aspects if the past lives were positive. This is the sort of relationship that can snap you back. Their memory may stay with you, as it’s a love affair that has likely spanned over multiple lifetimes.
Moon Conjunct • Trine • Sextile Mercury
” I can really open up to you.”
Moon is your instinctive, private self and when it’s touching your partner’s planet of communication, the emotional connection can feel natural. You feel like you can tell your partner anything. The communication flows smoothly and the two of you can talk through the conflicts that come up with ease.
Sun Conjunct • Trine • Sextile North Node
“You encourage me to grow.”
With a North Node contact, you and your lover encourage one another to continue growing on your life’s path. Sun and North Node both represent what we’re going and evolving if this lifetime – if these are making a harmonious connection between you and your lover’s charts, it will indicate a relationship that encourages changes, evolving, constant improvement. The two of you encourage one another to follow your heart path.
Venus Trine Neptune
“Your love takes me to other worlds.”
The two most romantic planets are writing love letters to each other here. This is the sort of relationship that will sweep you away, take you to other planets, make the rest of the world fade away. You’ll watch the movies and hear the love songs and be able to relate completely.
Mars Trine Uranus
“You keep things fresh.”
Uranus infuses some unpredictability to the relationship which can be a fun element. This is the relationship that feels novel – the Uranus contact will infuse the Mar person with new ideas, all sorts of unique date ideas. This relationship and the physical components will not get boring!
Mars Trine Pluto
“I’m so passionate about you”
This one is a bit controversial. Many astrologers don’t like to see Pluto in a synastry report, as its transformational and potentially karmic. It bolsters whichever planet its touching with an intensity…but the intensity can certainly be spicy. Mars is a lower octave energy of Pluto, so while Mars deals with raw physicality, Pluto deals with all the power struggles underneath the surface as well. This aspect (not the conjunction or square, which can have violet undertones) injects itself as a pure passion, a magnetism.
Mars Conjunct Ascendant
“I had to have you the moment I saw you.”
This is the sort of contact where you see them and feel drawn like a moth to a flame. This is a very raw, primal pull towards the other.