Astrology Indications for People Pleasing & Relationship Reliance
Many times, we gravitate towards a particular astrology sign for the lessons they can teach us. My closest circle has always compromised of lots of Aries dominant people, primarily because a concept I’ve always struggled with is self. I lose myself so totally in other people.
My natal chart is pretty much the picture perfect, textbook example of a native who is a people pleaser and lives for love, basically. Before I dive into my experience with my own natal chart, here’s a list of astrology indications of being overly reliant on the concept of other – whether that’s by excessively relying on others for approval, to feed one’s ego or for a love relationship.
For the babies who entered the world when the moon was full, the Sun and the Moon stood directly opposing one another, witnessing the other celestial body in its glory. This creates the push / pull of the Sun and Moon opposition but also a desire to have someone else there to reflect THEIR light in all of THEIR glory. A subconscious need embedded within the full moon baby to reflect their light on some other person – as though their happiness, their success, their life is only real when shared. For the full moon native, they have a sense that once they finally find their mate, they’ll be able to grow even more. This is often true – much of their work is done using another person as the mirror. Partnership is used to accelerate their growth.
Because of this opposition ingrained in their DNA, full moon babies may feel a little lost or stagnant without a partner. Relationships are key for their growth so they may feel lost within a moon to reflect their light back to them.
Sun conjunct Venus
When the ego and the planet of love are intertwined, the result is a lovely, charming individual. The problem is that the Sun, which rules ego, is dependent on a planet which is responsible for attracting others to us. Attraction can be fuel for their ego…so without it, they can spiral. Their identity can be utterly consumed in other’s perceptions of them. These natives typically have a hard time behaving autonomously because of it.
Venus in the 7th house
All of these placements emphasize harmony to a certain degree, but it is all but guaranteed with this placement. With Venus in the 7th, the Venusian qualities are what’s most important to this native in those surrounding them. They want a partnership that looks good and feels good. The shadow side of this placement is a tremendous concern with maintaining that cooperation, harmony and love, despite any reality that threatens that may romantic bliss. With Venus in our sector of relating with others, it casts a permanently rose colored glasses over the lovers that comes into our lives, causing us to stay too long or enter in a relationship despite the red flags.
Hey, with rose colored glasses, the red flags just look like…flags.
Venus in the 1st house
Similar to its placement of Venus in the 7th house, when the planet of beauty and love is shining bright in a native’s first house, a partner is nearly required. However, the motivation differs. For Venus in the 7th natives, Venus shines her beautiful self in the sector of OTHER people, which makes them worship their partner. For Venus in the 1st house natives, the benefit of a partnership comes not from worshipping another, but from being flattered themselves. These natives enjoy compliments and love romantic attention. They are typically in love with themselves and have a tendency to use other people as a mirror, to shine towards them love to feel for themselves. They like to feel attractive, and to feel attractive, we need to feel like others are attracted to us. Venus in the 1st exaggerates this concept of Other in our chart.
Strong Libra Influences
Each sign expounds and expands on the energy of the preceding sign, taking the lessons of the sign prior. For those with strong Libra in their chart, the lesson in this lifetime is that of relating to others, of how we handle and maintain our relationships. Libra is directly across from Aries, the sign which is grasping lessons of self, of independence. It can feel confusing for Libras to be without a partner, simply because part of their reason of incarnating here is to learn the lessons through the mirror of another person.
Strong Pisces Influences
Pisces, like the aforementioned Libra, tend to see the world and those they love through rose-colored glasses. It’s beautiful the way the two signs that dream but the danger of living in that dream is that a firm concept of the self can be lost in the midst. The trouble with being swept away and in love with love is that it doesn’t leave much room for rational thinking. Pisces can live in a dream world where harmony and cooperation reign supreme and have a subconscious urge to “save” romantic partners. Fish can be drawn to the underdog, the addict like a month to a flame. Pisces is also a fluid energy, so it can shapeshift itself into whatever their beloved’s dream girl / guy is, particularly if it’s in Venus. Pisces contains every sign that precedes it, so they are able to morph seamlessly.
Since Pisces deals with themes of universal love, a word commonly associated with them is selfless – literally, the lack of self. A tendency with Pisces is to sacrifice oneself, to become the martyr, to blur one’s self into another entirely. They can give and give until there’s absolutely nothing left.
Moon / Venus Contacts (Particularly the Conjunct)
This is the archetype of the person who is in love with love and needs it to feel emotionally safe, supported, at ease. They can be people pleasers because of the deep, internal need these natives have for harmony and good feelings around other people. It stems from a very deep, emotional place for them – they come into this world with an embedded, nearly maternal desire to care for another human being. Being alone does not fulfill that need. There is a tendency here to stay too long, get in a relationship because it’s better than being alone, or let their partner get away with too much, since the Moon/Venus native is primarily interested in harmony. This makes them feel safe.
Moon in the 7th House
Wherever moon is in our charts is a place we draw emotional stability from, but like the changing moon and all of its phases, it can represent a quite unsteady sector of our lives. With the moon in the 7th house native, there may be many changes of partners and many relationships as they are interested in finding someone who can bring them ultimate security. The love these natives go through multiple partners seeking, however, is a love that can only be given to oneself.
Moon rules your emotions, so with it in your sector of other people, others can greatly affect your mood. The Moon in 7th house native’s relationships are tinged with themes of mothering one another, taking care of one another, mood swings, sensitivity, high emotionality and dependence.
Venus conjunct Neptune
The glow of Neptune on the planet of love can create a Venus in Pisces of sorts, so these natives find it all too easy to fall deeply in love. Pisces and Neptune both rule the concepts of universal, selfless love, seeing the Divine in your lover, letting love elevate them to a mystical place. Since we’re just human, it sets these natives up for heartbreak. When you elevate someone to a Godlike, divine status, the inevitable fall is all the more confusing and disillusioning. Love for these natives is spiritual, idealistic, romantic and reality can seem harsh in comparison.
Some may prey upon the Venus conjunct Neptune’s empathy + compassion to take advantage of them.
So, you have one of these aspects. Does this mean you’re condemned to a life of heartbreak, utter disappointments, complete dependence on others to feel okay and secure?
The astrology I consult on, and believe myself, falls most closely in line with transpersonal or humanistic astrology. I don’t believe we’re condemned to anything in our charts – I believe with awareness, an unwavering desire for growth and an willingness to put in the work to better ourselves, we can work through our trouble spots in our natal chart. I believe our natal charts are a blueprint of what we came into this world with and we can take that to build and improve ourselves.
Our struggles were given to us for a reason in our birth charts. So many nutrition enthusiasts had their passion for wellness ignited because of a struggle with weight loss. Many rehab therapists feel compelled to give back to fellow addicts after their own battle with substance abuse. Physical therapists can dive into the study through their own body issues, as it ignites a necessary interest in this area. Your struggle provides you with your unique point of view that can help others, change problems in society, so on & so forth. Struggle gives us character, gives us empathy, gives us a reason to get up in the morning.
So, rather than feeling condemned or limited by perceived weaknesses in a natal chart, find empowerment in them. Ask yourself why you were given that particular challenge. Look how you can work with it to make it work for you.
If your chart is dominated by themes of dependence / people pleasing, it likely gave you a strong empathic, compassionate streak. Many healers have these themes interwoven, as they are here to transmute and hold space for other people.
My entire natal chart spells out a reliance on other. I was born at the peak of a full moon, so I’m forever looking for a moon to complement my sun. My Venus in Pisces is enraptured with being swept away, and I fall in love multiple times per day. My Venus placement in the 7th house makes me feel utterly lost and confused without a partner. My Sun and Venus are conjunct, tying my ego with attraction. My relationships (Venus) tinge and mold my identity (Sun). I rely on my ability to draw people towards me (Venus) to feed my ego (Sun). I’ve had a consistent crush, love interest or boyfriend since I was literally 4 years old. I’m never single for long. I could go on & on, yet I never realized this about myself until I began studying my own birth chart. Having the objective third person view of a birth chart spelling out my shortcomings in black and white made me confront my unhealthy thought patterns, loss of self in relationships and dependence on lovers.
I’m not resigning myself to staying in these patterns. Growth is what I’m after. I know I was given this inability to be alone for a reason – it’s given me empathy, compassion, generosity. I’ve learned so much through all of my relationships. They’ve truly accelerated my growth and been mirrors for me as I evolve. But, this time of being by myself and pulling back that energy I used to put into romantic interests to put into myself, my interests, my passions, my health, has been so fulfilling.
The danger of anchoring our self of sense to other people is that we sacrifice a lot of personal power when we do so – tying how we feel to external stimuli. Living my own life, rather than one molded around whoever I’m dating or interested in, has been incredibly empowering. I’ve shifted the focus from the outside in (letting those around me control how I feel) from the inside out (finding intrinsic happiness and motivation, letting that radiate outwards).
If you notice a pattern in your birth chart, do the work. Don’t let yourself succumb to the notion it’s all it is & will ever be. There’s a lot of debate between fate / free will in astrology, but rather than feeling locked into your birth chart as a prison, use it as a mirror – a tool for reflection, self exploration and growth.